


My Nørwegian Boyfriend

by London9Calling



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Clones, Fluff and Crack, Horror, Humor, M/M, Mentioned SeKai, Romance, mentioned baekchen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2021-01-25 15:40:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21358627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/London9Calling/pseuds/London9Calling
Summary: Chanyeol meets a Norwegian hottie at the gym and suddenly he's so busy falling in love he misses out on what's happening around him. Or the Chanyeol x Chanyeøl clone fic we all need in our lives.
Relationships: Park Chanyeol/Park Chanyeøl
Comments: 53
Kudos: 124





	My Nørwegian Boyfriend

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, this is the Chanyeol x Clone Chanyeol fic we all need. Trust me. We need it. This is canon. /runs
> 
> runs back to say sorry that not all Exo members are in this fic. Also sorry to PCY, I love you even tho I wrote this, trust me. 
> 
> HAPPY COMEBACK BITCHES\O/

Chanyeol tapped a beat onto the table with his fingers, a song he couldn’t quite place. “But he’s different, I swear.”

Baekhyun didn’t look convinced. He looked up from his phone long enough for Chanyeol to see his unamused stare. “You have terrible taste in guys. You know that. And I know that. Your mother even knows that.”

Chanyeol couldn't argue, it was true. He had the worst track record lately. He couldn’t catch a break no matter where he went. Dating apps, school, blind dates...it didn’t matter, they were all a trainwreck. Chanyeol would swear the person was his type, whatever that meant, and then end up meeting someone who tried to get in his pants within the first minute or spent the date talking about questionable hobbies (who collected serial killer artwork, seriously?) or asked to borrow money to pay the bill. It was exhausting. 

“We’ve been on two dates and he has been nothing but a gentleman.” Chanyeol shifted in his seat. “We’re going out again tonight.”

“What’s his name?” Baekhyun set his phone down on the table and crossed his arms against his chest. “What does he do?”

Chanyeol scratched the back of his neck, face turning red. “Well, that’s the thing…”

  
  


It started innocently enough. They met at the gym, of all places. Chanyeol was benching his usual five hundred pounds when someone came up to spot him. They locked eyes like some kind of sappy movie and Chaneyol, for the first time in his life, believed in true love. 

The man smiled down at him, a blinding smile that Chanyeol suddenly wanted very much to kiss (can you kiss a smile? He didn’t know but he wanted to try). 

“Hey, need a hand?” the man asked. 

“S-sure,” Chanyeol stuttered. 

The man was wearing a sleeveless shirt, his well toned, large muscles glimmering under the gym track lights. He smelled like sweat and Calvin Klein cologne. His face was...perfect. Chanyeol swallowed thickly. 

The man leaned in, helping Chanyeol flex his muscles as he lifted the massive weights that made him the envy of the entire gym. 

“You come here often? I haven’t seen you here before.” Now that he was closer, Chanyeol could make out the red scar that ran across the bridge of the man’s nose, and the richness of the man’s pink hair and light eyes. 

“Everyday around nine,” Chaneyol answered, lifting the weights. 

“I guess I’ll have to try to start coming here around nine, then.” The man winked and Chanyeol felt warmth pool in his gut. 

He lifted the weights onto the rack, his heart thundered in his chest. 

“I just moved to town,” the man explained, handing Chanyeol a towel. “I come from far away.”

Chanyeol took the towel, massaging it in his fingers. He would need to steal this one, not to be a creep or anything. “I can show you around town, if you’d like,” he offered, probably too eagerly. 

“I would love that.” The man smiled. 

Chanyeol knew he was in love.

  
  
  
  


Kim Junmyeon was a very particular person, which drove Chanyeol absolutely insane most of the time. His coffee mug could only be placed on one side of his desk, his coat had to neatly hang on the third hook in the coatroom, and god forbid anyone even try to touch his bag. He was anal about so many things, yet his desk was piled high with papers and candy wrappers. It made no sense, but never failed to grate on Chanyeol’s nerves. 

Chanyeol walked into his bosses office at half past eight in the morning, ready to set the coffee he was carrying in its assigned spot, lest he disturb the rest of the mess on Junmyeon’s desk. He didn’t even bother to do more than mutter a hello before setting it down. 

“What is this?”

“Your coffee.” Chanyeol looked at his boss, then narrowed his eyes. “Did you dye your hair? And do your eyebrows?”

Junmyeon’s hand went to his temple. His eyebrows were definitely thicker and now that Chanyeol was looking at him, he noticed a scar running under Junmyeon’s left eye. His hair was flaming red, which was all sorts of bizarre. Junmyeon never dyed his hair. 

“I...needed a change.” Junmyeon said, smiling sweetly as he reached for his coffee. “As I age I find that I need to remind myself of my youth by doing things young adult humans may do.”

“You’re not even thirty,” Chanyeol pointed out. “But it looks good. The red vaguely evil look suits you.”

“Thanks,” Junmyeon responded. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to do human work.”

“Of course.” Chanyeol turned around and made a beeline for the breakroom. He needed his own coffee before he even considered doing any work.

  
  


“He’s Norwegian?” Baekhyun pursed his lips. “Does he have a sexy accent?”

“No.” Chanyeol shook his head. “But his name is super hard to pronounce so he just asked me to call him Loey.”

“And what does he do?” Baekhyun wasn’t going to stop until he had all the details.

“I haven’t asked.” Chanyoel felt silly admitting it, but they had never really talked about work. Their dates had been so thrilling,  _ so meaningful and deep _ , that monotonous work talk never had a chance to sneak in. 

“He’s a con artist. I'm calling it now. He’s trying to con you,” Baekhyun announced, loud enough to earn stares from the nearby table.

  
  


“You look really good.” Loey licked his lips, not making an effort to hide the fact he was checking Chanyeol out. “Really good.”

Chanyeol felt heat creep around his neck. “You too.” He meant it. Loey was dressed in a tight black shirt and tight black jeans. Which come to think of it, was fairly similar to how Chanyeol was dressed….

Loey leaned in, pressing his lips to Chanyeol’s cheek in a chaste kiss. “Have you ever played basketball?”

“Yes! I’ve been really into it lately.” Chanyeol liked to find a hobby and focus on it until he performed at a level he was confident in and his latest one had been basketball. 

“There’s a quiet court near my apartment, if you want to go.” Loey reached over, taking Chaneyol’s hand in his.

“I’d love to,” Chaneyol answered, feeling butterflies fluttering in his stomach. 

  
  


“One more thing,” his mother spoke into the phone, stopping Chanyeol from hanging up the call. 

“Hm?”

“Can you go see if Sehunnie and Jonginnie are okay? They haven't been answering their phone lately.”

“They’re probably busy, mom,” Chanyeol said, trying to balance a hot pan in one hand and his phone in another. 

“I know, but Sehun’s mom is worried so I told her you could go check.”

“Alright. I will, but only because I love you.” Chanyeol would never deny being a mama’s boy.

“That’s my good boy.”  _ Click. _

Jongin and Sehun were like little brothers to him. Chanyeol had been a grade ahead of them in school so they didn't have classes together, but they had ridden the same bus to and from school everyday. Their parents were friends and they were close enough in age that they were often grouped together during family social functions. 

Chaneyol was the least surprised person when the pair started dating. They had been making puppy dog eyes at each other for what felt like forever. He was their biggest supporter when they moved in together, throwing them a housewarming party that Chanyeol would like to think outdid any housewarming party before or after. It was epic. 

They lived close enough to Chanyeol’s apartment block that he could walk, which he did after he called and texted both of them a dozen times that afternoon. Finally, giving up, he trudged over.

The door to their apartment swung open on the third knock, Chanyeol’s fist left hanging in the air. 

Jongin was in the doorway. He was wearing dark eyeliner, and he had dyed his hair from the blue it had been the last time Chanyeol saw him to a dark green. He looked at Chanyeol, not saying anything.

“Learn to answer your phone, Jesus Christ.” Chaneyol brushed past him, stepping into the apartment. “Is Sehun here?”

“He’s-” Jongin cleared his throat, shutting the door with a thud. “In the human eating room.”

“The what?” Chanyeol asked, toeing off his sneakers. 

“Not for eating humans! But for um, eating like a human.” Jongin scratched his head.

“Are you drunk?” Chanyeol shook his head. Sure, it was the weekend, but it was barely past dinner time. He padded into the open concept apartment, spotting Sehun in the dining section. 

Sehun turned when Chanyeol entered. He had a large red mark on the right side of his face. 

“Dude, were you in a fight?” Chanyeol quickened his step to inspect the mark on his friend’s face. “Who hit you?”

Sehun moved out of Chanyeol’s touch. “No one hit me.”

“Then what's on your face?”

“It's a human lovemark,” Jongin spoke up from somewhere behind Chanyeol. 

Chanyeol cringed. “You haven’t been answering your phones because you are having some kinky as fuck sex marathon? For fuck’s sake, call your mothers.” He turned and stalked back towards the door. “And sorry to interrupt, you can go back to your, um business.”

He should have known it would be something like this. Kinky bastards.

  
  


“Wait, how can you let me go on and on about my love life while you’re nursing a broken heart?” Chaneyol leaned forward, leveling his gaze at Baekhyun. “Why didn’t you tell me that you and Jongdae are taking a break?”

Baekhyun feigned a weak smile. “Because it isn’t important. We always get back together eventually anyway. It is non-news.”

“You look upset.” Chanyeol had known Baekhyun most of his life, he knew when his best friend was lying and right now it looked like he was definitely lying. “You don’t have to tell me what had happened, but if you want to I’m here, okay.”

“He’s changed,” Baekhyun said, blinking away tears. “Chanyeol, he’s different now.”

Chaneyol scooted his chair over to his friend, not caring how loud the noise of the chair legs on the cafe floor were. “Come here,” he said, giving Baekhyun a shoulder to cry on. 

  
  


Loey was amazing at kissing. Chanyeol lost himself in it when they ended up making out, which lately, was every time they met. His hands, long fingers, thin, were amazing too, knowing just where to touch to make the heat build in Chanyeol’s core. 

And Chanyeol loved his muscles. Loved that they were both athletic - in fact, they shared a lot of common interests. Music, looking in the mirror, cooking, and bowling. 

It was always at the tip of Chanyeol’s tongue, the words he didn’t want to be the first to say.  _ I love you.  _

“I love you,” Loey spoke first, words ghosting against the column of Chanyoel’s neck. 

Chanyeol bit back a moan, letting his head fall back. “I love you, too.”

  
  


Chanyeol checked his phone every ten seconds, or at least that is what it felt like. Baekhyun was never late. He was always punctual to a fault, and if something happened to delay him he always called or texted. But nothing. And it was already a half hour since they were supposed to meet up for their weekly coffee. 

Chanyeol was starting to get worried, not least of all because this was going to be the day he introduced Baekhyun to Loey. Baekhyun was supposed to arrive first, and Loey would join them about an hour later, once he was free. Chanyeol took a moment to ponder if that is when he got off work? He still didn’t know what he did for a living. 

“Come on Baek,” Chaneyol whispered, opening his browser to check traffic news. He desperately hoped his friend was okay. 

  
  


When Loey showed up, Baekhyun was still not there. He seemed to sense the worry on Chanyeol’s face. 

“What’s the matter?”

Chanyeol blurted out about his friend. “I’m worried he’s in an accident or something.”

Loey frowned. He took a seat. “I um, I know someone who could probably tell if he was. Let me send a few texts.”

“You do? Thank you so much.” Chaneyol instantly felt lighter. Of course, his perfect boyfriend was perfect even in this situation. 

The waitress walked over to the table, ready to take the newcomer’s order. “I didn’t realize you had a twin,” she said looking between the two men. 

Chanyeol blinked. “What?”

“I didn’t realize you had a twin brother.” She gestured between the two men.

“Oh, no. We aren’t twins.” Chanyeol shook his head. “This is my boyfriend.”

The waitress narrowed her eyes at him. “I could be wrong but I think that's illegal here.”

“How could having a boyfriend be illegal?” Chanyeol was concerned that the waitress might be coming down with something. 

“Hello, friend.”

Chanyeol forgot all about the waitress the second he heard Baekhyun’s voice. He whipped his head around to see Baekhyun at the side of the table, fidgeting with his hands. He was dressed...strangely. 

“What in the hell are you wearing? And where were you? I was worried sick.” Chanyeol stood up, pulling his best friend into a hug. 

Baekhyun didn’t hug him back. He stood stiff while Chanyeol let him go. 

Chanyeol lowered his voice to ask, “Is everything okay? Is the Jongdae-break-up thing turning you into some weird early 2000’s club kid? Because dude, you are kind of getting weird looks.” He gestured at his friend's leather jacket and white hair. 

Baekhyun shook his head. “No.”

“Hello, I am Chanyeol’s human boyfriend, Loey.” Loey stood up and extended his arm and suddenly Chaneyol forgot all about Baekhyun’s strange behavior.

“It is good to meet you,” Baekhyun answered in a flat tone, taking Loey’s hand and shaking it. 

Chanyeol beamed at the pair. Finally his boyfriend was meeting his best friend. “I really hope you two get along since you’re the most important people in my life.”

“Yes,” Baekhyun said, taking a seat.

“You are very lucky to know such a kind and handsome human as Chanyeol,” Loey started. “He makes good human choices.”

Chaneyol stared at his boyfriend, giving him puppy dog eyes. Seriously, how could someone so handsome, so perfect, be into him?

“He does.” Baekhyun nodded. 

“I was going to ask Chanyeol to visit the cube with me,” Loey said, reaching across the table to take Chanyeol’s hand. 

“That is a great idea that I fully support as Chanyeol’s human best friend.” Baekhyun looked at Chanyeol, his face expressionless. 

“What cube? Is that a new nightclub because I am really terrible at dancing, please don’t make me embarrass myself.” His face was already heating up at the thought of making a fool of himself in front of his boyfriend. 

“Night...club?” Loey blinked. “No, no. It is something in my culture that signals serious intent.”

“Ah, sometimes I forget you’re Norwegian.” Chanyeol turned to Baekhyun. “How do you know about the Cube? I didn’t realize you were up and up on Norwegian culture.”

Baekhyun opened his mouth to answer, but Loey was faster. “Chanyeol, we should go to the Cube tonight.”

Chanyeol swallowed down a smile. “Tonight? Well, if you insist…” Dreams of roses and engagement rings filled his head. God, he was usually not this sentimental...unless he saw a puppy, or a cute bird, or watched a sad show, or his mother was sick or…

“I insist,” Loey answered, squeezing Chanyeol’s hand tightly. 

“I should probably ask my mom though.” Chaneyol frowned. It made him nervous to dive into something so big without discussing it with her first. 

“No, not this time. Just trust me.” Loey smiled so sweetly, so handsomely, that Chanyeol couldn’t resist. 

“Okay,” he said quietly. “Okay.”

  
  


Chanyeol had never been to that part of town, but whatever, the city was huge. He guessed this was like Little Norway or something, because the closer they got to this Cube place, the more passing pedestrians looked similar to Loey. 

“Norwegians have the coolest eyes and hair,” he mused.

Loey parked his car outside a large, industrial style building. It wasn’t exactly what Chanyeol had in mind, but maybe it was like urban renewal or something. Regardless, he trusted his perfect boyfriend so he followed him inside the building, holding his hand. 

“You’ll be great for the Cube, Chanyeol.” Loey cooed as they stepped into the dark building.

Chanyeol smiled and squeezed his boyfriend’s hand, feeling so in love. He was about to say it, those three words, when suddenly everything faded away.

  
  


“He’s waking up, guys! Hurry!”

“I am going to kick his ass. I am so going to kick his ass.”

“Get in line, loser.”

Chanyeol’s eyelids fluttered open. He had a pounding headache and a bright light was shining in his face. He instinctively put his hand up to shield his eyes. 

“Hey, fuckstick, welcome to hell.” It was Jongdae’s voice. 

“Jongdae?” Chanyeol blinked and struggled to sit up. “Is that you?”

As his vision began to return he could make out someone crouching down near him. “Sehun? Why are you here? Where is Loey?”

Sehun rolled his eyes. “Loey is living in your apartment, going to your job, pretending to be you.”

“That’s ridiculous. Where am I?” Chanyeol struggled to stand, slipping once before he managed to get on his feet. “Where’s my boyfriend?”

“Chanyeol.” It was Junmyeon, his tone calming. He walked towards Chanyeol, a sad look in his eyes. “We’ve all been trapped in this place by people who resemble us, who are assuming our lives one by one. We were all kidnapped, assaulted, and sent here.”

“But I wasn’t kidnapped.” Chanyeol frowned. 

“No, you fell in love with your clone and came willingly, you dumbass!” Baekhyun stepped forward. “For fuck’s sake you could have saved us but noooo, you were too busy sucking your own dick to notice your friends being swapped out for evil versions of themselves.”

Chanyeol took a step back. “That’s-”

He swallowed. 

“There is-”

He thought about Loey’s face, about his perfect features. His strong arms, immaculate style, and winning sense of humor. Could he have really dated himself and not realized it?

Of course they were both tall, all ridiculously good looking people were. And so what if Loey might have a similar build. Most gym rats with well toned physiques did. 

And so what if they had similar noses, Chanyeol might be part Norwegian if he dug far enough back in his family tree. 

There was no way that….those lips….the bony knees...lack of ass….Fuck. He had really been dating his clone. A wave of anguish crashed over him. 

“It isn’t my fault I am so perfect!” Chanyeol whined, falling to his knees. 

He could hear a collective groan rise around him. 

So, the Cube. 

Huh. 


End file.
